Could Britney Spears really be knocked up again?

Pictures of Mental Case McGee waddling around L.A. in a velour tracksuit have sprouted yet another crop of pregnancy rumours. The Daily Mail says:

She was snapped cradling her swollen-looking stomach on a shopping trip [in L.A. over the weekend]. Dressed casually in tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt, the mother-of-two was seen placing a protective hand over her bulging tummy.

Wow. Just...wow. Even phone sex with K-fed will get you pregnant.

I think the only way this picture of her could get any sexier is if it was also a scratch-and-sniff sticker.

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Jada Pinkett Smith debuts the signature piece from Prince's new wig line, the Cock Blocker (TM).

Available at Poundland and other fine discount retailers near you!

Unrequited lesbian yearning sold separately.

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Britney Spears has reportedly been filming herself for the past six months in the hopes that the footage will help the public understand "what she's been through" in the last half year.

Or maybe make her look even more batshit insane than already does.

Can't hurt, right? "A source" told the Daily Mirror

"Justin Timberlake and her ex-husband Kevin Federline are terrified the material will end up on the internet. Or, even worse, Britney will agree to another MTV documentary and release some of the footage through official channels."

The source [added]: "Although some of the footage is really sad to watch, especially the parts where she is close to breakdown - others are dynamite. If she does decide to go public with the footage, it will be explosive."

Mmmm, nyessss, explosive. No thanks - I've seen trailer park chicks eating Cheetos on YouTube already.

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Primark.

Do you pronounce it "Pree-mark"?

Or do you say "Pry-mark"?

Or do you say something else altogether, like "Jumble Sale"?

I can't tell if the weird pronunciation is a "local" thing or whether I've been saying it wrong for years and no-one's bothered to correct me...in fear of me lashing out and demanding that everyone in the country says it the way I do.

Do share.

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After months of speculation as to whether or not the New Kids on The Block were really making a comeback, the truth is in. If you care.

All five "boys" will be reuniting, Joey McIntyre, 35, Donnie Wahlberg, 38, Jonathan Knight, 39, Jordan Knight, 37, and Danny Wood, 38.

The "kids" sold over 50 million albums back in the day, or even the early '90s.

This time around, they'll be lucky if neds off local council estates throw coins at them.

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Bees.

Especially bumblebees.

I have to say, I like the concept of bumblebees.

They're cute. They're fuzzy. They make us honey. They're all chubby and furry and look like they want to be stroked.

However.

Come summer, I have to use every shred of grown-up-ness not to run away and scream and then hide as soon as I hear a vague buzzing in my "dance space". This could merely turn out to be a fly, but nonetheless, it scares the bejeezus out of me.

They sting.

They loiter around your head no matter how much hand swishing and flapping you do, annoying and scaring you.

If you run away, they follow.

Menaces, pests and general nuisances, they should be banned.

Even though they do invent new and exciting flowers by way of pollination and nectar on their tiny toes and they produce a tasty spread for your toast or sugar alternative for hot drinks....

I am still undecided.

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Madonna "opens up" about her early battles against society-imposed standards of beauty.

"I was one of those people that people were mean to. I didn't shave my legs. I had hair growing under my arms. I refused to wear makeup, or fit the ideal of what a conventionally pretty girl would look like."

To her credit, she doesn't look like a conventionally pretty girl in the above picture.

She looks like an albatross that's just had all its feathers ripped out in some kind of bizarre "I've mistaken you for a turkey" escapade.

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Jack Nicholson has moobs.

Mighty ones at that.

Please, for the love of God, someone pass that man a bra. Perhaps an F cup.

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For now.

KV

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